From Loser to Cruiser

 

Hey everybody! So as you all know, I currently ride a GMC Denali 700c Road Bike, purchased from a local Wal-Mart! (The pink cruiser in the background is the wifey's) And personally, I love my bike! So lately I've been hearing some people talking about how horrid of a bike it is and how it isn't worth upgrading. Enter Sir Flat Broke Ironman to the rescue! Because, you see, I fully intend to ride the Denali into the ground, until it's either totalled or my financial situation improves to the point where I can afford a decent tri-bike! So this is a quick guide to show you through what I intend to do with the Denali in the next few years how to make your own clunker road bike match the space-age bike snobs!

1. Clipless Pedals

If you read my earlier review of the Denali, you know it comes with flats. Which is a MAJOR problem as far as bike speed and power efficiency goes. I understand the logic, most people buying an intro level road bike need to get used to simply riding a road bike and that's much easier to do without wiping out due to clipless issues.  So step one for my bike and hopefully yours, is going to be to install a clipless pedal system to increase overall cycling power. I'm looking at installing these bad boys http://www.amazon.com/Venzo-Shimano-Cycling-Bicycle-Pedals/dp/B00D9B7FOQ/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1385435762&sr=8-3-fkmr1&keywords=clipless+pedal+venzo. Remember, you need shoes, cleats, and the pedals to make the system go! I'm looking at adding this to my bike around late January or February.

2. Clip-on Aero Bars

This is basically a temp fix until I can get integrated aero bars. These basically just clamp onto your handlebars and adjust to a modified aero position. I intend to install these at the same time as the clipless pedals, all of which should help you (and hopefully me) look closer to the athletes on $6,000 bikes. Quick tip: The same tape you use on baseball bats works great on keeping sweaty hands from slipping on aero bars. And it's cheap.

3. High-pressure Slicks and Presta Tubes with Adaptors

The Denali came standard with 700x32 low-pressure hybrid tires. Not bad for intermediate roads but definitely not race material. I'll be upgrading these before my Ironman to high-pressure (100-120 psi) slick racing tires. I'll probably be shrinking the width slightly too. The Denali also came with Schrader valve tubes to make it more commercially viable to a public used to Schrader valves, so those all have to go to be replaced with Presta. And since the rims are drilled for Schrader, they all need rim adapters ($0.65 on Amazon) to keep the valves from tearing loose. High pressure tires reduce your rolling resistance and will help make your clunker more aerodynamic.

4. Wedge Box Top Tube Bag

This is more of an accessory than an upgrade and I'll probably be doing this one in spring when I start going back out for extremely long rides (they're only $10 at Wal-Mart) Another trick learned by watching the father-in-law, he uses one to store immediate nutrition since reaching behind you in aero bars is fraught with peril.

5. Quill-Stem to Threadless Adaptor

If you own a bike with a quill-stem, you know what a pain in the arse it is to find new handlebars. So to fix that problem, you can install an adapter that then allows you to use threadless handlebars with your bike which greatly opens up the possibilities. Eventually I'll grab one from Amazon and fix my handlebar situation which brings us to...

6. Handlebars and Drop Bar Shifters

The Denali comes with extremely heavy and heavily customized handlebars, which have quite literally been cut in half to have mountain bike shifters installed. So replacing these with carbon-fiber bars would be an extreme improvement. Since I eventually intend to install integrated aero-bars, the adaptor is a necessity and bar-end shifters are going to become a must have. If you have some basic bike tune-up skills, this won't be a major project but we'll see how it goes when I'm trying it out! ;)

7. Deep Dish Wheels

This is a long shot since decent racing wheels would cost me 4x more than the bike did, but if you can ever find a great deal on a set of racing wheels, you can greatly lighten your bike and decrease resistance. For me, a new set of wheels would also be the easiest way to get quick-release skewers on my bike!

8. Adjustable Saddle Post

Also a long shot due to cost, but the straight-bar saddle post on the Denali leaves the available positions somewhat lacking. An adjustable saddle post would indeed fix these problems and allow for greater range of motion but they're also expensive. Although speaking from experience, the saddle post in the Denali weighs an entire pound all by itself so a carbon-fiber post could shave some weight.

9. Drivetrain

The Denali's drivetrain is somewhat lacking as the gear ratios and cassette it uses are the same as for mountain bikes, topping off your gear-based mileage at a sub-par area. When these wear out, I definitely plan to replace the cassette and upgrade to a lighter, more weight-efficient drivetrain. This is an excellent way to both gain gearing power and shave off a few kilos.

10. Frame

Eventually, if I have invested all this money already in the bike, I will want to replace the frame with a lighter one to shave off the last few possible kilos! Just remember, although the components may change the bike itself keeps on living!

So that's essentially my master plan to help you take the old clunker and match it with the space-age bikes of the new cycling generation. Always remember, in Ironman especially, it's your heart that makes the difference. The best equipment in the world won't save you if you're heart isn't strong enough to say "dammit I won't quit," whether it's mile 1 or 115!  Now let's get back to racing!

Flat Broke Ironman's Healing Hints!

So with my calf strain and other miscellaneous aches and pains finally cleared up, I've compiled a list of what I learned from my injured experience. There's a few items I recommend nobody go without if they want to get back on their feet as quickly as possible!

1: Get yourself a stiff stress ball. Make sure it has some give but is hard to depress. This was my substitute for a foam roller and it worked wonders! It's also much easier to roll under your feet to relieve plantar fasciitis.

2. Run out and get some new ice packs. No, the old packs you used for college hangovers will not work. The kind you want come in a sleeve and have a velcro strap. The sleeve keeps you from directly icing an injury and the strap means you can strap the pack to your knee, thigh, leg, or whatever else ails you. Look for something like this http://www.walmart.com/ip/PhysiciansCare-Ice-Pack-Strap/15815745.

3. Save a few bucks and make yourself a hot pack. Instructions here http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Rice-Sock  ! Basically you fill a sock with uncooked rice and whip stitch the cuff shut.

4. Kinesiology tape is highly recommended if you have the extra dollars to spare! It's primary purpose is to stabilize the muscles and remind your body of the injury all while stimulating blood flow which improves healing.

5. I'm also a huge fan of plain old athletic tape for joint injures. Let's face it, when you injure something that can't be rested, like an ankle, taping it will give you the support you need to keep moving.

6. Ibuprofen is also a must! Anti-inflammatories are one of the best ways you can help injuries, as let's face it, almost all running injuries are caused by inflammation and irritation.

7. Remember, the best tool for your arsenal is PRICE (Protect, Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation) Follow those guidelines and most minor injuries will figure themselves out. 

So next time you get injured, this is a highly cost-effective way to help you heal as quickly as possible!

Ideas for the Triathlete Christmas Eve Rush

Well, it might seem sinful to start discussing this before Thanksgiving, but Christmas is right around the corner and everyone is wondering what to get their family members! If you happen to have a triathlete in the family, the what do I get them solution gets even more complicated, especially if you don't know all that much about triathlons! Well never fear, possible readers, there are quite a few gift ideas that your triathlete will love without breaking your pocketbook!

Idea One: Headphones

Triathletes always need headphones. I personally go through around two pairs per year, between blowing out speakers (mostly by listening to books on tape where the readers voice is extremely bass) or losing them or drying them or washing them...you get the idea. Your best bets are going to either be

A) A brand you already know they love.

B) A brand that is specifically made for athletes (These are usually waterproof and designed to stick in the ears)

C) A brand with clips to wrap around the ears and keep them from falling out.

D) A brand with a built-in microphone so they can answer calls while running.

Two: Nutrition

Fueling triathletes is an expensive endeavour all in itself. The average person needs to consume around 50-100 calories every 30 minutes while cycling or risk bonking, and the average cost of a 100 calorie energy gel is around $1.50, so the costs add up quickly. Whether it be a Gu Sampler pack, a box of Clif Bars, or a new can of the latest and greatest sports drink, you can never go wrong by buying a triathlete food.

Three: Foam Rollers or a Sports Massage

Professional triathletes get weekly sports massages to work out all the aches and pains acquired while training but the average age-grouper has difficulty affording that, so foam rollers are the next best thing. They're basically a metal rod with ridged foam sheaths that slide over to allow the triathlete to massage their own muscles. They work...amazingly well. They're also around $15 at Wal-Mart, so that's an easy bet. The wife and I made the father-in-law fairly happy with one of these last year. The other option is to buy them a one-time sports massage.

Four: Phone Holders

Your triathlete probably already owns one of these but they come apart at the stitching pretty easy so everyone usually goes through a couple a year. They're $10 at Wal-Mart and they're pretty much universal for fitting phones.

Five: KT Tape Pro

Maybe I'm blowing the Love horn a tad too hard, but this stuff is amazing. Your Ironman is bound to get injured sooner or later and this stuff will help them get back on schedule. It's $17 at Wal-Mart and comes in neon reflective shades for road running.

Six: Swiftwick Socks

Triathletes also go through socks faster than anybody will believe but once your triathlete tries swiftwicks, they'll never need another pair. Swiftwicks are made from olefrin, an ultra-moisture wicking material that also has compression properties. Basically, you never have to worry about blisters while wearing these bad boys. Grab a pair (I recommend Swiftwick Aspire Ones) and they'll love you forever.

Seven: Winter Gear

Underarmor products, running tights, cycling jackets, triathletes train in the worst conditions possible to prepare for race day and we all could always use more bad weather gear! Remember, ultra-light is always better and compression is a huge plus!

Eight: Training Guides

It is said we stand on the shoulders of giants and that's very true in triathlon. Without the tried and true training methods that countless others have developed, we would never be able to achieve our ideal times. But first, we have to learn what those training methods are. So head over to Barnes and Noble and browse the sports section. Anything by Ironman is an excellent option.

Nine: Running Shoes

These are iffy, because most triathletes know more about their feet than anything else and they're usually pretty picky about their shoe types. But running shoes are ideally changed every 3 months, so new shoes are an excellent gift! Just make sure to ask or sneak a peak at their running gear before buying them!

Ten: FuelBelt

If they don't already have one, this is a great idea! I love FuelBelt products, it allows no worry on long runs about nutrition and during races it ensures that you won't be stuck with some sports drink that creates GI distress!

Those are just some ideas to keep you from being totally lost this Christmas! Happy shopping!

The Tape From Heaven

So yesterday as I was preparing to get off shift at the fire department, I did something very stupid. I went to jump up onto the step to climb some stairs to the day room....and missed and slammed my leg into the ground straining my calf. All day yesterday and today I've had a burning nagging pain in the center of the meat of my lateral gastrocnemius, on the outside of the calf which was a rather weird place but still. It's been bugging me all day, not while walking but when changing directions. I've been heat/ice rotating, PRICE following, and I even made today a rest day to avoid aggravating the injury further. None of which helped AT ALL.

Enter the ever helpful father-in-law. My father-in-law suffers from an incessant calf spasm issue which makes it difficult for his run to be its best, so I noticed a long time ago he applies some weird multi-patterned tape to his calf every few days. When I asked, I found out its called kinesiology tape.

Virtually unheard of until the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Kinesiology tape is the latest craze in physical therapy. But unlike PT, it's readily available in a Wal-Mart near you! (If you can't tell, my town quite literally only has a Wal-Mart. That and one sports store. But that's pretty much all the sports supply.) KT Tape Pro is the most readily available in the line and it's priced at a sweet $17 for a roll of 20 strips. Factor in that a properly applied strip will last several days (through showering) and you've got quite the bargain there. I decided to test it on this calf strain.

Step One: The Purchase

This is what came in the box with the jet black, KT Tape Pro I purchased. A roll of tape strips, a clear carrying case, a decal (COOL!), and a set of instructions.

Step Two: The Shaving of the Legs

I am one of the very few triathletes who does not shave their legs. Chest, underarms, face sure! But not legs. It's some of the last hair I have left. But the tape adheres better when shaved, so using the same clipper set my wife buzz cuts my hair with, I proceeded to shave the portion of my calf. After going over it with my razor, my calf is now smooth as a baby's butt.

Step Three: The Application

The Wal-Mart brand tape proved to not be pre-perforated in the center for Y-stripping, so I had to cut it with scissors down the center but that wasn't too big a pain. I followed the video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XTxAREiYFE !

So, I located the center of the pain, a small burning dot in my calf, stretched the muscle out, and proceeded to thank god that I've done yoga because holding that stretch and applying the tape was a royal pain. I applied the tape (just one strip necessary), rubbed it down to generate heat (I screwed up shaving one edge so it peeled up but still works!) and then jogged around the room to test it out. And you know what ?

PAIN FREE! I'm too cynical to say 100% but I haven't felt a twinge yet so 100% WHOOH! I love KT Tape! This stuff is working great for me! I highly recommend every triathlete rush out to Wal-Mart for a roll! It's much cheaper than paying for a regular physical therapist and if you follow the videos online, you'll be able to train just as normal as before your injuries!